GOING to heaven! or not?
GOING to heaven!
I don’t know when,
Pray do not ask me how,—
Indeed, I ’m too astonished
To think of answering you!
Going to heaven!—
How dim it sounds!
And yet it will be done
As sure as flocks go home at night
Unto the shepherd’s arm!
Perhaps you ’re going too!
If you should get there first,
Save just a little place for me
Close to the two I lost!
The smallest “robe” will fit me,
And just a bit of “crown”;
For you know we do not mind our dress
When we are going home.
I ’m glad I don’t believe it,
For it would stop my breath,
And I ’d like to look a little more
At such a curious earth!
I am glad they did believe it
Whom I have never found
Since the mighty autumn afternoon
I left them in the ground.
I absolutely love this poem. For so long, I believed that the after-life was more important than life itself. How sad! Right now, I'm not sure what I believe. If God is real, I don't believe that he would give us life just so we could wish it away. The idea of God is becoming more and more absurd to me. At the same time, though, I can't imagine how I would feel if my parents stopped believing.
And I can't imagine "coming out" to them about my current state of agnosticism. I guess that I have a closet of my own.
Not too long ago, one of Chris' (hurricane's) friends accused him of conveniently changing his theology so he could be gay:
It seems to me that this is very convenient. If, as you say, all church’s are “the creation of men”, then all of us can simply invent our own religion, each of us recreating God in our own image, to suit our needs.
I have thought a lot about this. The truth is - two things collided: long held religious beliefs (gay is bad) and inner feelings . . . life experience (God made me gay). These two ideas are diametrically opposed. They both can't be true.
When Eddy came out to our parents, his Mom's reaction was "God made you this way; it can't be wrong." My Mom's initial reaction was "God doesn't go against his word; he couldn't have made him gay." (She seems to be coming around on this).
So which is it? Which is true? Which idea lives? The one you know is true because you have experienced it, struggled with it, and it won't go away. One of my favorite quotes is "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." ~Philip K. Dick
Chris and Eddy and __________ and Bea aren't trying to change God so we can sleep at night and have lascivious fun. Rather, the two ideas simply couldn't co-exist, so we believe in what rings most true.