tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26602943.post115619291310225738..comments2023-06-05T05:17:54.236-04:00Comments on sh-OUT: re: I wish that Eddy would just decide if he wants to be gay or not.Heidihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01133253850592184285noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26602943.post-1157209800957595232006-09-02T11:10:00.000-04:002006-09-02T11:10:00.000-04:00Bea and Eddy,A few years ago I thought that all I ...Bea and Eddy,<BR/><BR/>A few years ago I thought that all I needed to do was get honest and I had the naive assumption that meant announcing to the world (my wife already knew) that I am gay and then leaving my wife and children to pursue a "gay lifestyle" whatever that is.<BR/><BR/>Now I know that being honest with myself includes acknowledging that I am not only gay (or bi or whatever) but I amFliphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08141642385903218686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26602943.post-1156958050010915942006-08-30T13:14:00.000-04:002006-08-30T13:14:00.000-04:00Bea/Eddy - Thanks for setting me straight. It was ...Bea/Eddy - <BR/><BR/>Thanks for setting me straight. It was hard to tell via the blog if there was acutal communication going on or not.<BR/><BR/>You are steps ahead of my own situation. At least Bea knows the truth about Eddy. My wife has some suspicions but currently is in denial. She has accused me of having an affair with a woman. I am not proud of my adultery with other men (I'm calling it Restored Vowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01616466800863771219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26602943.post-1156450937797738772006-08-24T16:22:00.000-04:002006-08-24T16:22:00.000-04:00Restored:I hope you realize that you've made an as...Restored:<BR/><BR/>I hope you realize that you've made an assumption in your comment regarding communication between B and me - and your assumption is very wrong.<BR/><BR/>We have been using this venue to share the process that we are going through privately.<BR/><BR/>It helps us know that we are not alone in what is happening and what we are feeling, and it seems to help other know that they areThe Accidental Christianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01525913122081205491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26602943.post-1156429605559941182006-08-24T10:26:00.000-04:002006-08-24T10:26:00.000-04:00Novice therapist comment here: Why don't you and E...Novice therapist comment here: <BR/><BR/>Why don't you and Eddy set down and honestly talk with one another as compared to leaving blog comments or postings?<BR/><BR/>This form of communication seems to be very passive. You need to talk to one another -- face to face. While the blogs might be a good forum for public input, it should NOT be the only vehicle for genuine, heart-felt communication. Restored Vowshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01616466800863771219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26602943.post-1156425169901091972006-08-24T09:12:00.000-04:002006-08-24T09:12:00.000-04:00Bea:My wife wanted me to embrace my gaynes...and t...Bea:<BR/><BR/>My wife wanted me to embrace my gaynes...and to express myself. She would constantly say, "Just be who you are."<BR/><BR/>Easier said than done sometimes.<BR/><BR/>For me, I had lived behind a myriad of masks that society had thrown at me. I didn't know who I really was. ("Would the real Frank please stand up?")<BR/><BR/>I still struggle with this....<BR/><BR/>I thought that the Frankhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09470881241840857639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26602943.post-1156369177588672992006-08-23T17:39:00.000-04:002006-08-23T17:39:00.000-04:00Good-God. What I meant was allow yourself to expre...Good-God. What I meant was allow yourself to express raw emotion - unedited.The Accidental Christianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01525913122081205491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26602943.post-1156357330337163722006-08-23T14:22:00.000-04:002006-08-23T14:22:00.000-04:00Eddy,You seem to imply that I am not telling the t...Eddy,<BR/><BR/>You seem to imply that I am not telling the truth here - you say that I am changing my words to be more "correct".<BR/><BR/>The original #18 is true. AND so is the new #18. One is just more "raw" than the other. They are both heartfelt.<BR/><BR/>Would I mourn if you embraced yourself, found a lover, moved out, quit your job? . . . of course I would, but how different is that from Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01133253850592184285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26602943.post-1156351367001126232006-08-23T12:42:00.000-04:002006-08-23T12:42:00.000-04:00Why did you feel the need to change secret #18? It...Why did you feel the need to change secret #18? It just states what you feel. Your change on that seems to be what is "correct" and not simply what IS for you. Please don't feel that you need to self-edit - esp. here, of all places.The Accidental Christianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01525913122081205491noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26602943.post-1156200988083694662006-08-21T18:56:00.000-04:002006-08-21T18:56:00.000-04:00Hey Bea...For me it came down to embracing life.Th...Hey Bea...<BR/><BR/>For me it came down to embracing <STRONG>life</STRONG>.<BR/><BR/>That meant embracing authenticity and the risk of emerging from a place of hiding... Embracing the values which had brought me to that point and discarding erstwhile truths about where my aptitudes and abilities laid.<BR/><BR/>I know it's not like this for every person who is coming out somewhere in mid-life, andAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26602943.post-1156196005270911052006-08-21T17:33:00.000-04:002006-08-21T17:33:00.000-04:00And while he has pledged to remain committed to ou...<B><I>And while he has pledged to remain committed to our marriage, is that fair to ask of him? Is it even fair to ask him to stay married?<BR/>I really don't believe that people should sacrifice any part of themselves for another person.<BR/></I></B><BR/><BR/>You are so right (again!) <BR/> <BR/>This thing is a monster to deal with, and only the two of you can write the script of how the story eddie{F}https://www.blogger.com/profile/16500895628728705518noreply@blogger.com