Monday, July 24, 2006

Flipped Out


First of all,

Wow, guys! Thank you for your honest answers. So much of it resonates with our story: the climate of the 80s, the religion, the desire to create a family, falling in love. What you all wrote helps me better understand Eddy.

Flip threw a question back at me:

If, before you married, your husband had told you about his attraction to other men, would you still have married him? Why or why not?

Here is how I responded:

The short answer: I don't know.

The longer answer: Maybe not. He broke up with me three times (including one engagement)before we married. The combination would have made me pretty wary of how long it would be until he broke up with me again.

Or maybe I wouldn't have married him because I would have wanted to set him free.

More likely, I would have married him, thinking that he was "cured" which is what he was desperately hoping/believing at the time (also the 80s). And after our last break up (the engagement) I thought about him and missed him every day (for a year and a half in which we didn't communicate once). I loved him. I still do. And actually, I feel lucky to have been married to him at all. His inability to come to terms with it all, embrace his gay-self, come out . . . was my gain.

Bea


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2 Comments:

Blogger jasman said...

Bea
I can't begin to tell you how great it was to find your blog -which is now a bookmark.
As someone who is a "Not Entirely Straight Guys In Straight Marriages (NESGISM) (tip o the hat to Mobius for that - the worst acronym ever coined ;-) ) to read from the point of view of the wife is so important in helping me and other Nesgisms to understand things.
It is fantastic that you love Eddy and are trying to make it work. I wish you every, every success.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 5:42:00 AM  
Blogger A Troll At Sea said...

Bea:

Sometimes your posts are just amazing. I live in hope that my wife gets there some day. At the moment I am just "confused, disturbed and doing dangerous things." And I haven't slept with a man in over thirty years.

sigh.

The Troll

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 9:06:00 AM  

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