Monday, June 12, 2006

Pain and a Piece of Cake

P A I N - we know about pain.

To my last post, Chris (aka hurricane) comments, "KK and I are to a point in our collective and individual journeys where we are both certain that knowing and dealing is far better than the pain of secret keeping."

There is definitely something to be said for "knowing and dealing." I am amazed and in awe of you, Chris and KK. You inspire me.

Over the weekend I finished, "A Piece of Cake," (a memoir) by Cupcake Brown. This girl was in pain. She started drinking and drugging and tricking at the age of eleven to deal with her pain. She grows up to be a junkie and gangbanger, hits rock bottom, but by the end of the book is a lawyer. Truly amazing.

What jumped out at me is that the key to her recovery seemed to be getting in touch with her pain, feeling it, and facing it, looking it in the eye, feeling it some more and not giving in to her desire to dull it with things that don't work (for her it was drugs, etc.). Because she made her recovery the most important thing in her life, she went as far as allowing herself to sob at work if she needed to. (She had a good boss). This was just stunning to me.


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Blogger grace said...

Just found your blog through
"Two World Collision". I understand you. :) Sometimes just knowing there are other people out there who've been where you are (and survived, come what may) is a great comfort. I'll certainly be praying for you and Eddy.

Friday, June 16, 2006 9:23:00 AM  
Blogger KK said...


I came across a comment of yours on our Hurricane blog tonight, and wanted to connect.

Pain is a subject Chris and I have discussed a lot over the past nine months. At the beginning, shortly after his coming out to me, I had an addiction to pain, my pain, his pain, other people's pain. I chose to watch movies like "Crash" and the like, to watch pain because it is so REAL.

I think that everyone experiences pain, but what we do with it (i.e. shun it, avoid it, react to it, dwell on it, learn from it, grow with it, pass it on) is what defines us as humans.

Anyway, just one former spouse of a gay man's opinion.

Sunday, June 18, 2006 9:16:00 PM  

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