if i'm not okay, that's okay too

This week I read The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. It is an astounding memoir. Jeannette and her siblings are severely neglected by their parents. When she is three years old, she is standing on a chair boiling hot dogs when her dress catches on fire. She ends up in the hospital with severe burns. She writes:

I could tell that I was causing a big fuss, and I stayed quiet. One of them [nurses] squeezed my hand and told me I was going to be okay.

"I know," I said, "but if I'm not, that's okay too."

My childhood was paradise compared to Ms. Wall's, but I understand this little girl completely. Throughout the book she takes care of everyone else before herself. This is a hard habit to break. I see myself doing this all of the time. In the immortal words of Dr. Phil, How is this working for me?

B

Pain and a Piece of Cake

P A I N - we know about pain.

To my last post, Chris (aka hurricane) comments, "KK and I are to a point in our collective and individual journeys where we are both certain that knowing and dealing is far better than the pain of secret keeping."

There is definitely something to be said for "knowing and dealing." I am amazed and in awe of you, Chris and KK. You inspire me.

Over the weekend I finished, "A Piece of Cake," (a memoir) by Cupcake Brown. This girl was in pain. She started drinking and drugging and tricking at the age of eleven to deal with her pain. She grows up to be a junkie and gangbanger, hits rock bottom, but by the end of the book is a lawyer. Truly amazing.

What jumped out at me is that the key to her recovery seemed to be getting in touch with her pain, feeling it, and facing it, looking it in the eye, feeling it some more and not giving in to her desire to dull it with things that don't work (for her it was drugs, etc.). Because she made her recovery the most important thing in her life, she went as far as allowing herself to sob at work if she needed to. (She had a good boss). This was just stunning to me.

B