Sunday, December 14, 2008

sleeping with a gay man

Months ago . . . 

Eddy had a headache as we were going to bed and said, "I wish that someone would take my brains out."

Trying to be funny, I replied, "You wish that someone would f--- your brains out?"

And he said, "No. No one wants to do that."

And I realized (once again). . . I am "No one" . . . at least to him sexually.

And I never said anything . . . because it is what is . . . and because he didn't mean it as personally as I am taking it . . . and because . . . he is depressed enough already.





4 Comments:

Blogger Jennifer said...

The hurts for you both just go on and on and on... Know that you are not "no one," and that his sense of safety in even being able to voice his sadness is a credit to the fact that you are someone. With sorrow for you both....

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 10:59:00 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

So so so heartbreaking friend. I can't believe its been 4 years. (she says knowing you are so painfully aware. *ugh*)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008 12:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why, my dear friend, are you staying in this marriage? I was married to a gay man that I spent 24 years loving (and I believe he loved me). But once he came out, it just would not work anymore (as you so painfully wrote.) I am sorrowful for both of you, and I know how hard it is to think about leaving, especially in your situation. But it can be done without too much anger (I still see my ex at every family gathering.)The betrayal is too deep, and the lie costs you too much. Think about it. Love you.

Sunday, December 28, 2008 8:27:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's so sad.

I'm hoping you're feeling better after everything.

Happy new year and all that.

Saturday, January 03, 2009 5:04:00 PM  

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