Thursday, March 20, 2008

Death and Taxes

I am such a fickle blogger. : ) And everyone is so nice about it.

This has been yet another tumultous month or two.

In February I hit a patch of black ice on my way to work and rolled my car over the median on to the other side of the major freeway that I was unfortunate enough to be driving on. Fortunately, the man headed toward me swerved out of the way. Unfortunately, he also rolled his car over and in to another car. And we all lived. I spent the day in the ER and got a ton of stitches in my scalp and missed almost two weeks of work, in which you'd think I'd have blogged but . . . . Oh well.

One of the first things that I thought once the car had stopped and I realized that I was conscious and alive was that I was glad that I had a husband to call. A really nice lady called him for me and he beat me to the hospital by about twenty minutes. The night before I had a long conversation with my Mom about the possibility of separating from Eddy. Part of me thinks that God let the accident happen, so I would think twice about it. I don't really think that - but the bad religion that I was raised with takes my mind there. Fundamentalism is really awful.

Taxes are around the corner - we are filing separately for the second year in a row. I always think about separation in March and April. It is like I am on this cycle . . . .

I don't want to separate. I don't know what I want.

I hate that.


Blogger The Swandive said...

i am so glad you are ok. the mind is a strange thing... playing all sorts of tricks. you will find the right path. much love.

Friday, March 21, 2008 2:08:00 PM  
Blogger Cecilia said...

(((Heidi))), so glad you are ok, though I know the emotional shock of accidents can stay with you even after the physical healing is done.

You will find your path. Perhaps best to ask what you want, not with this marriage right now, but for your life. What do you want out of that?

I agree with swandive.

Pax, C.

Saturday, March 22, 2008 4:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Jen said...

I am so glad everyone is ok. That must have been so frightening. I know what you mean about having someone to call in the event of an emergency. My ex husband is still my "in case of emergency" number and I am sure he would be there in a second. The thought of taking him off makes me feel lonely. But is probably preventing me from moving on.

I'm glad you are back.

Saturday, March 22, 2008 7:04:00 PM  

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