Wednesday, September 06, 2006

what can i say?

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them!

You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you

You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil

How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others


Tuesday, September 05, 2006

The Big O

A producer from The Oprah Show contacted me about participating in an upcoming show about gay husbands. (She said she read my blog). Although, I'm not about to participate, I had to imagine it, not so much airing out my experiences on national television, but what would it be like if Eddy did come out.

My first reaction was what a relief it would be for all of us. Then, there was a numbing fear of our finances taking a dive because we assume that Eddy would lose his job over this. Then, there was the fear of losing Eddy to a man. Then I realized that in some ways I have already lost Eddy, or a part of Eddy, to the world of other men. In some ways Eddy's sexual orientation isn't "real" to me yet, not that it doesn't exist, but that the reality of it hasn't quite sunk in.

Imagining the coming out, the possibility of it, made it sink in a little more. Ouch.